My first year reading with a full fledged toddler! There is definitely less sitting; I am now chasing after my son. He can walk, run, and climb. That said, I am still impressed with how compatible avid reading can be with kid life.
I also got pregnant with my second child towards the end of 2022. First trimester had me very sleepy, so when I read, I would end up falling asleep and napping on the couch as my toddler ran circles around watching TV.
What is harder with Toddler Life for me was finding time to sit down and write this. Whenever I sit at a laptop, my toddler demands I look at pictures of cats. I think when we first showed him a computer this is what we did. Now he thinks they are devices for looking at pictures of cats. This is not entirely inaccurate.
Anyways, I am finishing this review post in August 2023 after my second son has been born (he is 7 weeks old now!). 8 months into 2023. I really should try writing the reviews as I read so I remember more. The notes on many of the books are shorter than they have been in past years. But, it’s better short and late, than never.
Links to other reviews:
HIGHLY RECOMMEND – 5 STARS
made me think a lot, in different ways for each book. recommend reading
Leviathan Falls by James S. A. Corey
Piranesi by Susanna Clarke
The Empress of Salt and Fortune by Nghi Vo
From One Mom to a Mother: Poetry & Momisms by Jessica Ulrichs
Dune by Frank Herbert (reread)
ALSO ENJOYED – 4 STARS
Read the synopsis and see if the topic appeals to you
Scythe by Neil Shusterman
Kaikeyi by Vaishnavi Patel
All I See Is You: Poems and Proses on Motherhood by Jessica Ulrichs
Cozy Minimalism by Myquillyn Smith
The Sins of Our Fathers of James S. A. Corey
A Court of Mist and Fury by Sarah J Maas
A Court of Wings and Ruin by Sarah J Maas
Oh Crap! Potty Training: Everything Modern Parents Need to Know to Do It Once and Do It Right by Jamie Glowacki
No Bad Kids by Janet Lansbury
All Summer in a Day by Ray Bradbury
MEH – 3 STARS
I didn’t like these much, but maybe you will
Deception Point by Dan Brown
Kaiju Preservation Society by John Scalzi
Artemis by Andy Weir
Leviathan Falls by James S. A. Corey
The last book in my favourite series of all time did not fail to deliver. This was an emotional Expanse year, as the TV series also concluded. I feel the authors really gave the characters deserved ends that felt complete and fair storytelling wise. I’m very satisfied but hope to see more in this universe (including the Telltale Video game coming out in the future!).
Piranesi by Susanna Clarke
What a bizarre story. But also had me hooked once I got through some of the intro! Would recommend.
The Empress of Salt and Fortune by Nghi Vo
Wow, I can’t believe this was a short story. The amount of world-building packed in is astounding. I really enjoyed this one.
From One Mom to a Mother: Poetry & Momisms by Jessica Ulrichs
Mom poems that hit just right; some had me sobbing. Fair warning but beautiful.
The poems are of varying quality and some definitely are more worthwhile/impactful than others.
I shared some with one of my online mom communities and it was always EMOTIONAL DESTRUCTION.
Dune by Frank Herbert (reread)
This is one of my favourite books. I’d actually forgot I reread it last year and was thinking of reading it again on this maternity leave, which is a review in of itself. If you haven’t read it, do. I love the first 3 of the Dune series.
Scythe by Neil Shusterman
First book I read in 2022 and I don’t remember much about this? I remember it being fun, but even reading the synopsis doesn’t really jog my memory, so that tells you something in of itself.
Kaikeyi by Vaishnavi Patel
Very fun story of Kaikeyi from the Ramayana, which I know NOTHING about so a lot of this I’m sure would read differently to someone who does. Kaikeyi’s magic is really interesting and gripped me.
All I See Is You: Poems and Proses on Motherhood by Jessica Ulrichs
More mom poems, I felt the collection had less bangers than the other one I read. Still some good ones in here, though.
Cozy Minimalism by Myquillyn Smith
How to do home decor! I moved into a house and just wanted to think a bit about home decor. I believe the book had a list in the appendix, would only read that and skip the rest.
My big takeaways were to do things in this approximate order (I’m working from memory so may miss something):
First figure out the room layout – set furniture up & live with it that way, play around with it
Get Rug (its easy to match drapes and paint to it later)
Then get drapes and paint
Then do artwork
Then do nick knack decor stuff
The Sins of Our Fathers of James S. A. Corey
The last piece of Expanse writing from James S. A. Corey I get to read! It was enjoyable. I am going to miss this world but look forward to what new worlds the authors bring us to in whatever projects they do next.
A Court of Mist and Fury by Sarah J Maas; A Court of Wings and Ruin by Sarah J Maas
I hated the first book in these series but 🔥hot damn 🔥do I like where the series goes. More of a sultry fun read than any deep thinking. Interesting enough fantasy plot. I liked the characters and character chemistry here MUCH more than the first book.
Oh Crap! Potty Training: Everything Modern Parents Need to Know to Do It Once and Do It Right by Jamie Glowacki
Ideas seem good enough. Writer’s tone is very annoying. Will write a review when I actually try doing this stuff.
No Bad Kids by Janet Lansbury
I have more notes for this one because I kept notes while I read. Mostly in the form of quotes. I read this BEFORE my baby had fully morphed into a defiant wild little toddler. Its really helpful and grounding rereading some of these quotes now as I parent a 2.5 year old.
- Your own expectations
- “Babies are whole people… they are natural learners, explorers and scientists able to test hypotheses, solve problems, and understand language and abstract ideas.”
- “Children are ready to listen, primed from birth to begin decoding our words and intuitive our unspoken messages. They are also unique individuals who quickly develop ideas, opinions, and wills of their own. Babies and toddlers often understand exactly what we want but choose to do the opposite.”
- “During the toddler years, the most reasonable expectation is the unreasonable” YES
- “Be preventative, prepared, proactive: there’s an excellent chance our toddlers are not going to follow our directions or agree to our limits”
- “Find support: the toddler years are an intense time. To remain mostly unruffled, parents of toddlers need a shoulder to cry on, and some may need the support of a coach, counselor, or therapist. Let your children be the inspiration to get the help you need.” I have personally found the best parenting advice FOR ME is to work on ways to keep myself calm when faced with stress: Deep breathing, knowing my limits and when to step back.
- “Toddlers can’t just agree and comply out of respect. They test their power and will by resisting us. Defiance is normal and Healthy.”
- Your responses to your toddler/baby/child
- When kid is upset, check if they need: Food, drink, or comfort
- Your emotional state matters when you set limits/boundaries with your child: Try to be unruffled. The kid must BELIEVE you’re unruffled
- Bad state: Frazzled, frustrated, confused
- Good state: Confident, clear, concise, calmly (like a CEO), matter of fact delivery
- “Lack of discipline is not kindness, it is neglect” OK this is worded VERY harshly. But I get the intent. Be really deliberate of when saying no and setting boundaries though because if its something I give into after a lot of screaming and tantruming, I start feeling “Mom Guilt” re: not having good discipline.
- “Loving our child does not mean keeping him happy all the time and avoiding power struggles. Often it is doing what feels hardest for us to do: saying “no” and meaning it”
- Allow kids to express feelings
- Turn no into yes (if you can word things affirmatively, do so)
- End responses with periods; no “Okay??”
- Sibling interactions: Sportscast; narrate the situation without assigning blame or guilt.
- How to stay calm when kids aren’t: Breath, call a friend, eat dark chocolate.
- “Discipline is training that develops self control, character. Latin disciplina: instruction, knowledge”.
- It is educating children to understand consequences. Those consequences should be logical, reasonable, age appropriate.
- “Thank you for your opinion. Here’s the plan”
- No – things book advises not to do
- No time outs My commentary: What’s the difference between alone time, quiet deep breaths, and time outs? My toddler when really upset requests alone time. He chose this. Its not abandoning him, its giving him space to self regulate.
- No discipline for crying
- No spanking
- No lectures – a sentence or two suffices. Don’t assume their feelings, only state what is certain.
- No accommodating whining. Ask the child to restate their request clearly and politely. Commentary: This is very hard for me.
- No gimmicks. Would you say this to an adult? If so don’t do it.
- No false choices where they can’t say no.
- No distractions to end misbehaviour
- No ending sentences with questions
- No yelling
- Routines/Behaviours
- Speak in the first person when possible. Not, “Its not nice to hit.” add a personal connection.
- Routines set a predictable environment with realistic expectations.
- Give natural consequences: E.g. if we don’t get dressed, we can’t go to the park Commentary: My toddler just wouldn’t want to go to the park then… Yay! we can watch TV!!
- Show love frequently. Unconditional love. Don’t withdraw love as punishment
- Talk normally
- Make daily rhythms Commentary: Could use more of this, re: when we watch TV etc. But we are only 6 weeks into life with a baby brother so makes sense life is chaos. He gets some consistency from being in daycare.
- Curiousity rocks Know when what they are doing is ok.
- Give place for autonomy early on.
- Say yes to safe exploration and self directed play
- “Give boundaries when child is testing, give boundaries during transitions, long before annoying you. You can set boundaries to protect your mental health.”
- “It helps to be strongly attuned to our own inner rhythm – to know what your needs are and to convey this to your family so they learn to respect your needs too”
- New Sibling
- Have reasonable expectation: Kid likely to be overwhelmed by many new emotions.
- Encourage them to express feelings. When kids act out ask what their emotions are. Casually bring up subject of negative emotions
- “Being a big brother is hard sometimes. If you feel any of these things I want to know. I will always understand, love you, and want to help you.”
- Kids that seem more accepting/tolerant may be struggling the most and need extra support to express feelings
- Don’t guilt/judge/sweat the small stuff
- Give them quality one on one time
- Foster baby’s independent play
- Respect child’s continual need for boundaries and calm helpful parents
- Misc.
- Respectful parenting isn’t passive parenting
- “Basically most parents are afraid of disciplining their children because they are afraid of the power struggle. They are afraid of overpowering their child, afraid they will destroy the child’s free will and personality. This is an erroneous mistake.”
- Don’t give too many choices, or ask was that a good choice. Sometimes kids need Clear Decisive Definitive.
- “There is no way over indulged children are going to be happy, because they seldom get direct honest responses from their parents. When you say no really mean it. Let your face and posture reflect no as well”
- “A positive goal to strive for when disciplining would be to raise children we not only love, but in whose company we love being.”
Not passivity. Mindfulness!
1) respectful honest first person communication
2) acknowledge desires and feelings
3) keeping directions simple and concise
4) a confident matter of fact unquestioning tone
5) gentle following through
6) limit screens and overestimating toys.
7) belief in child’s ability to actively participate in creating solutions
Reading some of my old notes is helpful when thinking about parenting my first kid as a 2.5 year old with a new baby brother.
All Summer in a Day by Ray Bradbury
A classic short story and a quick read if you haven’t been forced to read this in school already. And even revisiting it if you have read it for assignments may be worthwhile; something about reading for your own enjoyment vs. filling in English class worksheets should make it more enjoyable.
Deception Point by Dan Brown
Fun thriller, not what I’d usually read. An enjoyable binge read.
Kaiju Preservation Society by John Scalzi
A fun enough story and premise, the writing style just rubbed me the wrong way. I didn’t like the protagonists internal voice. The villain reveal felt way too obvious and cliche, which makes it less interesting in some ways.
Artemis by Andy Weir
I wasn’t a fan of the character Jazz. She felt brash and not like a complete character. I usually love Weir’s sci fi books; The Martian and Project Hail Mary are fantastic! But the character here was so unlikeable and her first person narration so …. unrelatable? unrealistic? sexual? … I don’t know… that I had a hard time getting into the story. I also wasn’t very interested in the heist plot vs some of the sci fi elements from his other books. Too bad.